Dear Diary,
6/14: Everyone has called me Dwayne all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to.
7/10: By the end of the day, my desk was about two feet closer to the copier.
7/21: Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the women's room. When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.
11/06: This morning I knocked myself in the head with the phone.
